Wednesday, April 29, 2009

on noooo

my baby bunny were okay yesterday, she still eating, but now maru seems do no want to eat anything.. whats wrong? is she sick? is he stress.. I thing I will go and see the Vet tomorrow.. I just pray nuthing bad happend to her.. and now Im feeling so sad ;_;

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

My baby bunny

at Sunday, me and my friend go to this market (pasar raya ) at gasibu. we having fun because so many weird stuff that sell and we look around for a good stuff..
than before we go home.. I saw a man who sell baby bunny.. Oh my.. they are all so cuteeeeee..
and I really2 really really want one..
actually I always wanted Rex bunny, because ther rug fur look alike.. but this domestic bunny are freakin cute to, and their fur are so freakin soft, and they are so small to.. >////<

I want one, so I ask the seller, he tell me that it only cost me $2 say whaaat??that's freakin cheap.. so I just go and but the funny rabbit..

me and my friend than name her Maru, Japanese for Round, because this baby look like a fur ball.. haha( is it really her? i still cant different between female and male bunny... ^^; they genital are not look like cats at all.. so Im confuse )

at first Im so sacred this baby bunny will instantly died after I take her home,,but its all ready 4 days since Im buy her for the first time, and she still alive.. I hope he will have long lifespan.. *ameen*

btw,here is Maru, very cuteeeee eh? i love her so!

Monday, April 27, 2009

Kara Commision Details

Kara Is a model and she is hot and made all the men who stare at her melt.. that's why she is furiously jealous when a man that supposed to be crazy in love with her, are staring to another girl that came to a party..

I hope I can picture her emotion in the rite way.. ^^;
Is far from perfect, but I will try my best next time.. :D

this clothes, like I said in the previous blog, are Feliane-san her self who teach me who made those blings2. he gave me the tutorial and the dust pattern to.. for that Im so thank full, I can do beautiful stuff to Kara.. :D

but I guess Im still failed with her jewelry.. >_<;

what is wrong with girls and shoe.. ? I dont get it.. but because shoe is look so sacred for girs.. I try to design it well.. I dunno if I made it or not *gulp*

dont kill me ladieeees arghhhh

ah finally this commission is finish.. I have a bunch great times.. ^^ and you can see the final result HERE


Kara clothes Step by step

I sorry, the step by step actually took more longer than this, but I forgot to printscreen the steps because Im to focusing in finish the comish.. ^^;

btw the bling2 on Kara dress, is it look good? well feliane-san her self that teach me dat.. ^w^v

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

owh you..

damn.. why the hell you have to be so talented??? you already beat me up even before we start to fight..

and you said we are rival.. that seem so much like a joke.. you are waaay in front of me..
now look how every body says how talented you amazing you are..and blah..blah blah.. at first they even dont know that you exist..everybody knows that Im nuthing compare to you..made me ashamed that I claimed my self as your rival..

now I have a chance to prove that I have sumthing much better.. I have a chance to win from you..
even tough you are on the air now.. doesn't mean Im all ready loose..

well at least I will try my best..
I dont want to run away like a coward..
not anymore

Shiloh Details

are you bored yet? because this is still a commission for Feliane

just wanted to post the details.. :D

look Shiloh eyes not exactly blue.. its mixed with green.. I wonder what the lady feeling when staring straight into his eyes.. ^w^

shiloh lips?? he dont look like someone who wear lips gloss rite..??? @_@; I hope its looks more natural.. :D

I made a silver button in a new window, with 400x400 pixel sized.. very detail indeed.. when I transform it into a smaller size.. this is what happen to the buttons.. >_>;

Im not trying anything cocky with all this preview..this is just a part of a service to the client..


Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Shiloh :Hair painting with painter X

still a commission for Feliane
this time is a sneak peek to Shiloh hair. :D


I made his hair on painter X, if you guys interested in hair tutorial on painter,than checkout THIS

Monday, April 20, 2009

Flower in Your Sleep

last night.. I have this dream.. that really.. really.. look like a real live experience.. and after I wake up, I feel so exhausted.. not my body.. but my heart that feel so tired..

In my dream.. that person came again.. chasing me and brought all the problem that we both have in the past..
damn! stop it.. I dont want to look to the past.. I want forget it.!!

but why it keep coming.. and even in my dream..?
maybe because unconsciously I know this problem are haven't solved yet.. so I will keep thinking about it?


despite everything that ever happen to us.. I realize I miss you, and to me, you still the best thing that happen to my life..

thank you for dat..



geez,, Im suck..(=,,=)p

Friday, April 17, 2009

Feliane details commision

I never enjoy drawing digital like I enjoyed this one.. not because the others digital painting are not enjoyable, not because other commission is not special.. but because in this commission finally I found a new technique in painting..

I know my ability is improving trough every pic that I drew.. but I never realize it.. but this one.. I can feel it trough my finger and my brain.. and that's such a WOOOW experience.. Its made me more and more excited.. event tough I know its so damn hard.. and I became drained every time Im working on this piece.. @_@;

this is a sneak peek details to Felieane Commission..

Im sorry for the watermark.. :D


Thursday, April 16, 2009

Feliane Face

sometime, the magic of digital painting, really gave me the creeps (=_=;)

commision progress for Feliane

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Coin Collect commision

commission for coin collect
this took me a lotsa time.. and not to confidence with the result.. >_>
but I try my best.. I just hope the client love it.. :D

for the full version, click here

Monday, April 13, 2009

long time no see

hallow yen...
haha gara2 kamu niy jadi pengen nulis blog bahasa indo..,sebenernyah tata bahasa Indonesia sama kaco nyah ama tata bahasa inggris(soalnyah banyaknyah ngobrol pake basa sunda).. tapi lah.. at least I try :D

dan gara2 kamu juga Yen, sayah (kamana atuh sayah) jadi ngobrak ngabrik lemari komik cuman buat nyari buku tahunan, soalnyah jujur ajah, ampir semua temen2 pas SMA, sayah mah udah lupa.. asli... pas kuliah ketemu beberapa temen SMA, cuman bisa cengengesan salting karena gak inget namanyah.. XD.

tapi kalo kamu mah inget dong Yen, soalnyah kamu salah satu supporter RC pas sma, kalo gambar satu lembar buku tulis biasanyah suka dikasih coklat bengbeng kan?? ^w^ trus waktu kelas tiga kamu pernah juga minta dibikinin komik sepuluh lembar kalo gak salah, tentang yen ama pacarnyah..
huahahahhaha ampun dah pasti gambarnyah nista banget... >_>;
trus jadi inget juga sma si Andi, si andi setioko, yang pake kacamata.. yang celananyah ngatung, kaos kaki tinggi, nerd banget gayanyah.. tapi pedenyah selangit! kepribadian yang patut diteladani.. XD

dia pernah ngesponsori sayah bikin komik 137 halaman, ditinta, dengan rasteran pencil,dulu komik lebih dari 100 halaman ituh amazing banget.. ceritanyah tentang penyerbuan kecoak, inget gak yen? tu komik setelah jadi, trus dipotokopi, dijilid sama si Andy, aslinya masih ada di sayah ampe sekarang.. ^^

dulu andy suka pesen gambar juga berlembar2, dia juga suka minta gambar di kertas ukuran A3, harganyah 10 rebu selembar, diwarnain pake pensil warna....kalo pas valentine.. sayah kebanjiran order... tapi inget juga ada beberpa temen yang minta digambarin porno segede A3.(siapa ajah yah?aduy,ucokz? rrrr lupa.. ) wadawwww maluuunyaaaaa pasti gambarnyah butut banget! proporsi nista.. arghhhh mana napsu liatnyah juga.. ;_;

terus si Gogon yang langanan minta digambarin tatto temporary (pake bolpen ajah getoo).. ahhaahahha ,masih inget dia? tiap pulang sekolah harus hadep2an sama punggung item dia yang penuh keringet.. makjaaan.. @_@;

heuh.. kadang salut banget deh sama temen2 yang selalu ngesupport, dulu meski cman 10 rebu, segituh keitung mahal untuk ukuran anak SMA,2 gambar bisa beli majalah ULTIMA yang dulu langka banget, dan bisa beli majalah ampe tiap bulan. padahal uang jajan sayah cuman 5000 perak..(ongkos angkot pulang pergi 3000) jadi jajan cuman 2000, dikasih tambahan bengbeng setiap hari lumayan bangeeeeetttt.. XD
hahhahaha Im happy... padahal gambarnyah perasaan gitu2 ajah.. nggak bagus2 amat.. kok mauk yah?

yen sekarang udah liat gambar2 sayah?.. :D sekarang sayah udah pernah nerbitin komik juga loh.. banyak orang sekarang ngata2in sayah komikus XD. itu artinyah pan setidaknyah walo seginih juga cita2 sayah kecapai? ituh juga salah satunyah berkat suport dan dukungan dari temen2 pas SMA.. XD yang dulu bikin sayah bangaaaaaaa banget bisa bikin komik..(kalo banyak yang muji dan banyak yang kenal teh berasa selebritis.. ikikiki XD padahal sayah dulu orangnyah lumayan autis alias cengo, ngalamun wae )

Yenyen dulu pernah pesan kalo ntar sayah jadi komikus beneran, jangan lupa ama Yenyen.. :D nggak lupa kok yen... sekarang sayah masih dibidang gambar... tapi jalan sayah sekarang sedikit melenceng dari jalur komik, mauk balik lagi ke komik tuh susaaaaaaah banget.. berapa kali sayah rasanyah pengen nyerah..

kamu muncul lagi sekarang sayah jadi inget2 cita2 sayah dulu.. ^_< jadi semangat lagi nih Yen.. :D makasih yaaaaah.. di komikberikutnyah nama kamu sayah cantumin ah... XD

betewe Yen kalo mauk liat komik2 sayah yang lain.. klik sinih ajah..
yenyen punya contact selain di YM ga? pengen tauk nih kabarnyah.. udah nikah jangan2??

hehehhehe inih gambar pas kelas 3 SMA, gila tinta parker ama rarteran pensil.. sebenernyah pengen malu banget liat tu ancur banget gambarnyah.. T_T, tapi lebih gede perasaan bangga dibanding malu.. XD jadi pajang ajah la

Sunday, April 12, 2009


Im to lazy to finish this, I dont have any mood to do that, beside my commission work are piling I dont have any time.. Q_Q, Im sorrryyyyyyy

and its feel hurt...

I suffer from a disease..
I don't concern about this illness actually, even I know its serious disease, and my parents always worried sick about it.I don't think its serious,because I still don't feel any impact or damage that could harm me and stop me from my daily life, (I hope it will be like this forever and it wont get any worse.. ^_^; )

I don't wanted to be sick of course, and I don't wanted to act like I don't care or anything, and honestly I feel scared to.. not scared of dying or ended up miserable.. but because if this illness getting more serious, it will cost me a lotsa money... I might became burden to everyone to..;_; I don't want that..

and my mom watch this TV show about disease and what the cause, and she tell me what she heard from the TV show,she said every illness in human, are caused by a person personality.
the point is, its caused by emotional disease.

and a disease that I have, are happened to a person who always angry.


Im shocked..
I dunno what to say at first..
damn.. that so true..

Im a person who cant control my emotion and my anger, when Im in rage, I will go berserk.. I poison my own heart, I invite this disease to my body..

now.. I feel broken.. I feel guilty.. I feel hopeless
I hate this feeling, I hope this could be over soon..
and I hope I could control my temper from now on, because I don't wanted to be sick.. I want to be strong and became a healthy person..

Gambarre Minna!

Friday, April 10, 2009


I dunno what Im supposed to do when Im in rage..I punch the wall brutally until my knuckle are bump and have many bruises..

my friend sez its amazingly stupid, I wont get nuthing from punching the wall instead of wounded hand.. and its my right hand.. my precious hand that became my asset.

I dunno how to express my rage, my head feel spining and my chest feel like its going to blow.. I want to scream but it might coz more trouble, I wanted to cry but I left that years ago,I want to destroy everything but later it will cost me lotsa money.. so with reflect I punch the wall over and over..

now the rage still here of course, burning in my chest, but its will gone away somehow.. or maybe not, the problem haven't solved yet..I know its will be worsen if I don't do anything...

but my pride is to big, he is the one who ask problem with me.. begging for sumthing that he know I cant gave..and desperately doing enormous stupid act for attention..
its hurt my pride sooo bad!
now Im scared if I meet him again, face to face, I wont be able to restrain my temper, and I might hit him hard.. >_>, I dun wanna do that, in the past, he help me in so many things. in the past, he is that adorable and nice fellow, kind heart and full of love..
but I guess he still that stupid person from the beggining when its comes about others felling and emotion

he made me feel so disappoint..

Sunday, April 5, 2009

My New Gadget

I dont understand most of the computer gadget, most of the time I'm clueless.. I try.. but maybe its just not my thing.. >_>

I brought External HDD yesterday, the capacity is 20 gigabytes. at first I wanted to buy USB, 8 giga.. but my friend who came along with me sez, why bother buy the little one? just go and buy the big one at once.. so I don't have to buy many USB, since I got the money.. I think , The hell..there's will be no harm if I buy it,so I brought it and took the little black and thin HDD with me.. :D

I named him HADEL (HD leutik ), and since e-snailE my dearest CPU almost overload with data, I move the 'important' data to HADEL, most of them are comic, 17 gigabytes, HADEL is almost blow up because the data.. >_>

and I erase the backup data from e-snailE (sound stupid?)I decide to trust HADEL with all I have, so the data have no back-up, pretty scary indeed... I worried sick to.. HADEL is still new, and I dont understand him much.. if there's anything happens.. well I must say bye-bye to my precious file.. (nooooooooh >_<; )

than.. sumthing ridiculous stupid happen.. I dunno why.. well my Friend father ask me to scan some election campaign letters, its very much important, so I must help the man, and I did..and that man brought me a suspicious USB.

e-snailE rejected the USB, she refuse to detect the following USB, I said to the man.. it wont do.. but The man keep insist, the file is important and the only USB he brought is dat..>_<; ooowh I should known better... but because I just wanted to help the man..I try all the USB port that e-snailE got,so I unplug HADEL, and put the USB in HADEL place.

GOD DAMN!!the USB are soooo full with VIRUS!!! arghhhhhh lucky my ANSAV and ANTIVIR are clean it up, and I pray so much to GOD that e-snailE is left unharmed..T_T, well the mission complete, that stupid USB is ejected from e-snailE, I put HADEL back, there's a file on him that I need to workin on..

and WTF!! where is HADEL?? I cant see him..
#@%^%*&^&*%&^()(&^&&^!!!!!!! arghhhhhhhhhh... I plug and unplug HADEL over and OVER, I still cant see him.. until the yellow bar came out and said.

"the USB port is malfunction, windows cant detect the device..."

what the hell is wroooong? its all okay in the first place.. why its became like this... aghhhhh! I was panicking. my stomach started to hurt. god damn this is terrible.. what I must supposed to do.. what I must supposed to dooo?...I dont understand nuthing.. what if all file is gone.. ?? Im soo drop dead.. X_X;

I try everything I know, it dont work.. I gave up. I decide to go to the store instead to check on HADEL, Im so scared that HADEL have to be reformat and Im gonna loose entire my file there..*sob*
so I turn of e-snailE and gone to sleep, its already late, there no use if I try sumthing if I still panic..

so this early in the morning, I turn on e-snailE, pray so much that a miracle will happen, because HADEL still connected to e-snailE, I check out the explorer.. and guess what..
HADEL IS BACKKK!!!! wihiiiiw... yeahhhh yipiiiw! I just cant hold my self to dance and roll over.. \(^,^)/. THANK GOD!

I dunno what happen really, like I said, Im clueless with gadget.. is HADEL just teasing me?? oooow he such a bad ass kid.. >_>; but Im glad the fuss is over.. Im so freaking glad! pheeew (I hope nuthing like this will ever happen in the future, I hope e-snailE and HADEL will get along together) .

buy the way, I always think my gadget as a living person.. so Im kinda wondering about e-snaile my CPU,is female, and she have so many USB port..
and thats mean she is are gang bang by a buch a male gadget like; tablet bamboo, scanner,mp3player,modem,keyboard. etc.. all the time.. (almost everyday)

woohooow she must be one hell of amazing woman to be able to do that..har..har..har..:D
and beside.. she is so damn hot to!

Friday, April 3, 2009

How to draw with painter X Tutorial: Delilah

This is the tutorial I promised..
a Commission from one of my client Omega Raptor.
Im sorry if the tutorial is kinda hard to understand or anything.. I dunno how to made a good tut (your comments, critiques and guidance will be so much help)

to made this kinda painting, all you need is patience, knowledge of anatomy, lighting and painting clothes.. (sound hard? well yeah.. *lol* )
but if I can do it, I know you guys can to, I start from nothing, and now I be able to do this.. not easy, but doable.. :D


*click for more bigger view

you can see the final result here

NB; sorry for the typos and grammar /_\

Thursday, April 2, 2009


he look at me with piercing eyes,
intimidate me indeed

"come close" he said directly to me with no emotion..

but I keep stand still,
with a crooked smile on my face, kinda nervous.
than he came forward against mine, our body almost touch.
still with piercing eyes, his face getting closer to mine, I can feel his breath gentle in my cheek.
and he start to whisper me the word softly.
he said..

"brenksek maneh.. "

or should I say "you bastard!"

huahhahahahhahhahahhahahahah..... ass hole!

nah, relax, nuthing serious.. Im kinda always started a fight and made my friend mad..of course..we still joking around..its happen all the time.. ^^;
sometimes hes the one who risen my temper. I'll shout to him,, he shout back.. I feel embarrass acting so childish..and he laugh at me.. *A*

I like those kinda person really, who brave enough to tell me what on their mind bluntly,being honest, never done any cheap talk juts to amused someone like our hypocrite society always done..

I better hang out with rude but honest person, than polite but hypocrite!

why I tell you about hypocrite person? well okay, two days ago Im hang out with the person who are my ex-lover..
personally I never mind with the Idea still having a good loving relationship with your ex, beside its all from approval from my current lover anyway.. so its legal.. ^.^

but anyway, the relationship between us getting awkward, I try to act normal, but always move back every time my ex try to get my heart back, and I dont response every time the conversation towards the topic that my ex still loved me somuchforevereverthaneveruntiltheworldsfallapart and still wanted to married me, blah! shut up!

well the result is.. I got mad to my ex who are so stiff and awkward.. geee get over it will ya? we all ready broke up, cant we just be a good friends? my ex said nothing..

ow.. my ex still that sweet and nice, adorable and loving person like before
never get mad or berserk like me..

but everything came out.. from a text message.. damn why my ex not tell me directly.. what a coward. >_> well my ex said the following:

since the beginning I always be patient with your behavior.
my heart is ache, and I feel very much tired, but I never gave up wishing you will change..because I always believe you are a good person inside despite your egoistic and bad temper attitude.
I still love and care for you, but Im tired
why everything have to be like this?

say whaaaaat??? all this long, I never hesitate to tell what Im thingkin and how my emotion is, my mood swing change rapidly, and I dont care the emotion impact to others.. yes its egoistic indeed, but for all this long? why my ex never tell me anything?why my ex never protest or stop me for being so emotional??

and I always tough that my ex are very nice person who are super patience and willing to accept me the way I am..
I was wrong.. that not accept the way I am..that's mean running away from me..

avoiding argue and discussion just because scared I will be more ballistic...

am I that savage? brutally butcher my ex emotion?
I tell about this to all my closest fellow, and they say..
yes.. Im the person who are so mean and evil..
and damn why I could be so cruel to my ex.. now and before.. poor my ex.. they cant believe how my ex manage to stand beside me that long.. my ex must be having a hard time..

say whaaaaat??
I might be evil and mean..
well than stop me from doing dat!, if you dont say anything that mean you okay with it! goddamn! I cant use telepathic so please say whats on your mind!!!

whatsoever.. Im glad dat we broke up.. I know where is my faults is..and I know yours to.. >_>
I hope you can find someone who are better that me, and be happy