Berserk

I dunno what Im supposed to do when Im in rage..I punch the wall brutally until my knuckle are bump and have many bruises..
/_\

my friend sez its amazingly stupid, I wont get nuthing from punching the wall instead of wounded hand.. and its my right hand.. my precious hand that became my asset.

I dunno how to express my rage, my head feel spining and my chest feel like its going to blow.. I want to scream but it might coz more trouble, I wanted to cry but I left that years ago,I want to destroy everything but later it will cost me lotsa money.. so with reflect I punch the wall over and over..

now the rage still here of course, burning in my chest, but its will gone away somehow.. or maybe not, the problem haven't solved yet..I know its will be worsen if I don't do anything...

but my pride is to big, he is the one who ask problem with me.. begging for sumthing that he know I cant gave..and desperately doing enormous stupid act for attention..
its hurt my pride sooo bad!
now Im scared if I meet him again, face to face, I wont be able to restrain my temper, and I might hit him hard.. >_>, I dun wanna do that, in the past, he help me in so many things. in the past, he is that adorable and nice fellow, kind heart and full of love..
but I guess he still that stupid person from the beggining when its comes about others felling and emotion

he made me feel so disappoint..