Tuesday, March 12, 2013

My heart Torn in Two

beware of rant ahead..

right now I feel suffocated... every time I try to working my daily job as freelance artist, its feel like my heart are stomped by a big rocks..
I realize I always feeling suffocated if I'm trying to do something I dont wanted to do..or becouse I have something more interesting to do than working...
and its not have any connection with drawing illustration or making comic..

its figuring out how to make good Ball jointed doll.. O_O

right now I'm making my second BJD  Yue
and even its hard and need lotsa patience to make this thing come true.
everything are very exciting..
its feel like I can satisfied my curiosity, and learning new stuff always refreshing..

I'm kinda person who are hard to focus, I easily get bored, but if I have something that I wanna do, that's the only thing in my mind.
all my close one said its like I'm obsessed..
I check on BJD news all day, all the time
while learning how to make good shape and good joints that I could practice to my dear Bjd..

and what about my current job? my contract? my passion in making comic?

I feel that like I dont care anymore..

and I feel that's bad..
I dont wanna be like this..
but everything feel so hard..
I dont know what to do..